Shanktified!

The personal thoughts, opinions and typos of Ron Shank

Hippo Eats Dwarf (I secretly wanted it to be true)

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So I get this email today titled “Hippo Eats Dwarf!” and the attached “news clipping” so it has to be true, right?  Wrong.

First the evidence.

Hippo Eats Dwarf

 

Looks legit. However, it just feels like a hoax. They sent the trampoline off to be tested?? Better ask ma-Google.

Well, not only is it a hoax, it’s the title of a book about hoaxes.

Oh well. I’m glad the little guy never died. I’m also glad this wasn’t a YouTube video. But, as cruel as a death as it might have been, I secretly wanted it to be true.  I’ve always said, when my time comes, I hope it’s part of an amazing story — like being swallowed whole by a hippo.  How do you want to die?  What do you think happens when you do? Let me know in the comments.

 

 

Top Ten Reasons I Never Bathe

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  1. I was forced to as a child.
  2. People who bathe are hypocrites – they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
  3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
  4. I used to bathe, but I got bored and stopped.
  5. I bathe only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
  6. None of my friends bathe.
  7. I’ll start bathing when I get older and dirtier.
  8. I can’t spare the time.
  9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.
  10. People who make soap are only after your money.

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